Parallel lines have too much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet! How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!

3 pieces of string walk into a bar but the barman says "sorry, we don't serve pieces of string here", so they all leave. One of the pieces of string says to his…

I had a chip implanted in my body. It was a cool ranch Dorito!

I bought a dog from a locksmith. When we got home he made a bolt for the door! Did you hear the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left …