You've heard of Murphys law, have you heard of Cole's law? It's cabbage and mayonnaise! - How do you talk to Italian ghost? With a l-ouigi board!

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down!

Looking to hire someone to change the channel and volume on my tv. Must be able to work remote.

My New Years resolution was to drop my bad habits. But no one likes a quitter! What does a jeweler do on Dec. 31st? Ring in the new year!