Cameron

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will just Let It Go!

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!

How long did the baseball player spend in the library? Only five minutes, it was a short stop!

So I’m writing a book about windstorms right now. It’s still just a draft. Will - I’ve been picking up photography as hobby, so I drove a little south of Chicago to take a picture; I tried taking a photo of a wheat field. It’s a little grainy!

Told my priest I was being haunted by an overweight ghost. He told me I need to exercise more!

What part of the body dies last? Pupils, they dilate!

A weasel walked into a bar, the bartender went “Wow, don’t see a lot of you around these parts. What can I get you” The weasel looks at him and goes “Pop!”

I wanted to tell you guys a joke about an almond and cashew, but it was just two nuts!

My dad used to say to me when one door closes another will open. He was a brilliant philosopher, but a terrible cabinet maker!

When I was young my dad got us a dog from a blacksmith. When we got home the dog made a bolt for the door!

Why was the broom awake? Because it over-swept!

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands!

What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves!

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He received the no-bell prize!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

Did you hear about about the mathematician who is scared of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!

How do you make the number 7 even? You take away the "S"!

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

Well I've got a construction joke, but I'm still working on it...

I bought a wig for 25 cents, it was a small price toupee!

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam!

How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!

What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-leavable!

Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well I'm to going to spread it!

Did you hear about the restaurants on the moon? Great food but little to no atmosphere!

What do you call a shoe made of a banana? A slipper!

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!